Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
