When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
