I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
