i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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