just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
