I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
