Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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