at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize