Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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