get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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