we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
