So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
