I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i will never coherently bang her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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