Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
