Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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