And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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