that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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