I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
