How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
