I'm going to jail i love you
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
