An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have post one night stand depression
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