my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
