I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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