I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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