Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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