I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
