wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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