We're facebook friends in real life
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
