I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
