Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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