Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
