Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
one might say we're banned from that church
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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