he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
