the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
