so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
