just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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