Why are handjobs necessary in class?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.