That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
BRING THE BAGELS
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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