At least make sure they are 18
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry