I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.