How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on