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Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
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