the condom got lost in my hair
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize