He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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