hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
