you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
