yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
