Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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