Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I sprained my soul last night
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
