I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
