Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
