Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
