Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
