Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
