I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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