Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
