I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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