he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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