I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
