it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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