he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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