i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
