she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
