Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Boobs are out for the taking
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize