I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
