Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
