Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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