Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
