i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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